Elijah Herbert
Oct 26th 2010
Enlightenment journal
Melvin races down the stairs it’s just about 9:15am
Excuse me; excuse me he says blowing by other college students
Watch it moron another kid said tripping him down the stairs.
Melvin stumbles down 2 flights of stair and crashes into the wall …he gets up and shrugs it off
All the other kids start laughing
Melvin proceed to his usual lounging area but the other kids followed
Can I help you he said turning around?
Yea you can help me why are such a dork the kid that tripped him down the steps said
Idont know why are you such a jerk Melvin said with a sarcastic tone
Naturally the other kid took offence to that grabbing him by the collar
What did you say to me?
I’m not going to repeat my self Melvin said squirming around trying to get lose
Just as he said that Melvin “friends” looked and walked away
Why are you just standing there help me get lose he said
For the 1st time in his life he realized that this isn’t the 1st time this has happened
Just then he felt a sharp pain him his nose which turned bright red…he blacked out
This worked really well. The class enjoyed the dialogue and the intent with this scene.
ReplyDeleteBe careful with your format...remember that with direct dialogue we need to see quotation marks around everything that is actually spoken, otherwise it is difficult to read.
16/20